UNCG

so it's been more than a month since i've written to you and i realized that i haven't written about my recent decision. obviously you already know that i applied to transfer to uncg but i wanted to write to tell you how i'm feeling about all of it. i wanted to tell you all of my excitement and my apprehensions about moving out there to be with you.

first lets do the apprehensions cause then this can end on a happy note :p
i know i don't really make out that i'm nervous to move across the country to be with a guy i've been dating for going on 6 months and that i've known for less than a year, but i'm really nervous about it. i'm nervous that once i get out there, i'll think i made the wrong decision. i'm nervous that i'll have all these expectations about finally being out there with you, getting to see you and spend all this time with you but it won't be what i thought. i'm scared too. i'm scared that we won't stay together after i move out there. i know that i'm gonna miss my family and like crazy and that will be the hardest part about moving out there. i hate talking about that on skype because i don't like thinking about it now. i know that i'm going to miss them and i know it's going to be really hard because just when you bring it up, i start getting teary eyed. i know that it's gonna take time to get used to being in a new state with different people but i really think i'm ready for it.

i know that all of these things will be hard but i know that i'll have you and your family out there. i know that you guys will make sure i'm ok and be there to help me when i'm sad. and i know that i need to be optimistic about us and not think about us breaking up, but i have to say that it always in the back of my mind when i think about moving to north carolina. what if i do move out there and we don't stay together. i know that i'd stay about there and finish school but it would be so hard because then i really wouldn't have any family out there. i'm gonna make it a goal to make my own friends, to meet people at school so that i'm not so dependent on you and your family. and i'm not trying to make you feel bad like you have to stay with me until i finish school if for whatever reason you don't think it's working out or you met someone else. obviously i don't want that to happen but i don't want you to think you have to stay with me because you'll pretty much be all i have out there. i know that you need to do what's best for you, and if our relationship comes to that, i know i'll be fine.

the only things that really get me nervous are us not being together and missing my family and friends. i know that it'll be really really really hard but at the same time i really believe that with you is where i'm supposed to be.

so going through all of that will be worth it. i love you chris and i want to be with you. i want to be out there with you as soon a possible. i want to be able to see you and go places with you. i know that it'll be worth it because you're the love of my life. i love you so much baby.

so now to the good things. i am so excited to even have the chance to be out there with you. i know that it still might not work out, i might not get accepted and i might stay out here go out to flagstaff. but if i go out there, i know it'll be the best thing. to get to see you and hang out with you a lot. i know we won't be able to hang out all the time but just to see you in person even a few times a week is gonna be amazing!

i'm excited to spend more time with you and to get to know you better. i'm excited to hang out with your family and get to know them better also. gosh baby to be able to go places with you. to be able to spend some holiday's with you is gonna be amazing, cause i know i won't be able to come home for every holiday. but that's ok because i've been wanted to spend holidays with you for such a long time.

baby i'm just excited to be able to see you more. to be able to hold you and kiss you more. to be able to go more places with you and spend as much time with you as i can. that way we can know for sure if for sure if we want to be together. i know i want to be with you but we do need to get to know each other better.

i love you baby and i can't wait to find out if we get to be with each other. i know i'm gonna call you and freak out. it's gonna be a long process because i still have to figure out housing and units and all that mumbo jumbo. but once i figure it all out baby it's gonna be amazing. i love you so much pumpkin! you mean the world to me.

i can't wait to see you in 29 days baby! it's gonna be great! you're my baby and i can't wait to see you and hold you and kiss you. i love you sweetie pie!